That is a borrowed title from one of my favorite writers, hope it’s not pirating,? Okay, let’s get started, would like to write about the medical aspect of knowing yourselves medically before you say I do, this is because most of the medical issues in marriages could have been prevented with just a little as a medical checkup, so both parties know what they are in for.

Guess we are all familiar with Genotype, Blood group, and screening test to detect blood-transmitted diseases, such as HIV, HEPATITIS B AND C VIRUSES, and VDRL for syphilis. Even though some couples still go ahead to get married despite knowing they have got issues, its okay because they both know what they are getting into.

Now, let’s get a bit deeper with this pre-marital testing in respect to infertility especially in Men, it has been believed from the onset that women are the infertile ones in a fruitless marriage, but with my recent experiences as a Laboratory Scientist, the rate of male to female infertility is equalizing, probably due to lack of awareness by the male species on how to take care of their power bank. So let us face it, would it be right for a man to do a simple sperm count before marriage? Yes!!! because its not a big deal, the woman should also check her hormones just so is not one sided.

Semen analysis is very important because it is the sperm cells that actually fertilizes the female egg, and most males have low sperm count, some have none at all, this condition is known as Azoospermia, it takes a long time to be corrected, and most males wait for their wives to go through all the family, society, and even numerous visits to the gynecologist alone before they agree to do the test, it will save both parties unnecessary stress if our men will agree to do the semen analysis before marriage, just my opinion.

I know is a hard one because men got ego and their ability to reproduce is a vital part of their masculinity, therefore, most times they will rather believe everything is right with them.

As for my sisters, we should not wait till it is time to say ‘I do’ before doing our annual hormonal check up and even do a scan to ensure our reproductive system are good because all these issues can be easily corrected with early detection.

It is very important to check if our reproductive organs are intact, and also to check if our blood is compatible, so we can save ourselves the stress of all the dramas the unpleasant surprise will bring when married.



Photo Credit: Google/shutterstock


Becoming A Pro…


Entrepreneurship could be stumbled on depending on situations around an individual. Could be as a result of getting tired of sitting at home, day in and day out or you are tired of your present job that doesn’t satisfy you financially despite the time, energy and number of hours you have put on the job.

I for one believe that every individual is restless especially when they get to that point of comparing themselves with their fellow friends. It was that stage I found myself when I finally made up my mind to think of another source of income. The big question became what can I do that won’t affect my present job? Of course the thought that came into my mind was buying and selling because then I felt anyone into business is obviously doing buying and selling, I never knew there were different facets of a business.

Well, I delved into buying and selling, and instead of the regular selling ladies wear, I decided to go into dealing with men wears just because I didn’t need the stress attached to dealing with women and I felt men are easy to do business with. I was able to establish a cash and carry policy because I needed to restock as soon as my goods get exhausted. However I gave my colleague’s opportunity of paying back as soon as salary is paid, with this was able to encourage them to patronise me.

One thing I also took into consideration was the quality of the wears. Due to the fact that I was opportune to have families and friends in US and UK, what I was doing was to order online, and get my goods delivered to my families’ residence and they helped to ship down for those that don’t ship to Nigeria. It was really amazing how it picked up from trying to understand the business and establishing myself as a pro in it.

In fact, ladies started pleading with me to think of selling female wears which I eventually did. Now don’t get it twisted, the beginning was tough because I had to do something I never thought I could do which was marketing. I never thought I would ever see myself marketing a product for any company but I saw myself doing that for mine. I used to tell people I don’t have marketing skills but I saw myself doing so well marketing my goods. The truth is everyone has in him/her what it takes to excel in wherever he/she find themselves.

The business kept growing while I was still diligent in my paid job, I was able to combine both because of my determination despite the stress that accompanied it. I found myself selling to people I always envied, those working in banks, advertising and the oil and gas.

Right now am thinking of taking it to another level by creating an online shop which is still in progress. This idea was borne out of the requests I do get from people wanting to get my stocks but they find it difficult due to location.

My advice to people who are now in the restless state, wanting to earn more at the end of the month, first is to understand yourself, what you derive joy in doing and what can people know you for. Everyone in my office and even close friends knows am a sucker for a well-dressed guy. I love seeing smartly dressed men and I extended it to females because I love looking good and I know good quality when I see one.

If I hadn’t embarked on this, I still would have been managing my one source of income and still praying for a better job but right now what I pray to God for is to bless the work of my hands while also blessing where am still working because they have always supported me.

My Dream Lover……..


Image result for image of an imaginary lover

Another cool night that sees me hot but not with perspiration, rather sexual pleasure. His kisses were magnificent and I do look forward to that. Caresses me with patience all to make me feel wonderfully satisfied but always leave me wanting more. I usually look forward to sleeping because that is when I do enjoy my romantic times with Gabriel, my dream lover who always comes to me immediately my eyes are shut, I see myself floating and just been around him, wanting him to put his arms around me and comfort me after a stressful day.

This has been going on and off to the point that going out on a date with anyone feels like am cheating on my dream lover and for 2years it was the same and I was already getting agitated because I can’t seem to have someone to place a call to when I am down during the day and also can’t keep putting guys at bay all for my imaginary lover. Friends and associates were getting worried and wondering why I haven’t been on a date for a long while.

Calling my mum in Nigeria, I decided to open up to her as she is kind of my best friend and when I did, she screamed at shouted “Ewuu…my daughter has a spirit husband…seriously? What does she mean by that? I was still wondering when she asked me if I married my dream lover in my dream and I said no but can’t remember if I did.

Told mum, not to get worried as I intend breaking up with him and mum asked me how do I intend doing that? Replied her that I will just tell him when next we meet which will be at night that I will tell him calmly so he doesn’t feel dejected. My mum told me am outta my mind and that the 15 years have been in the states has made me forget myself and that I should take the next available flight to Naija because the kinda break up I need has to be done spiritually.

Didn’t know when I started laughing and that created the impression that I was taking things lightly but assured my mum that I intend breaking up with Gabriel because when I need him to do some physical stuff for me he ain’t available. We eventually made a deal that if I can’t do it my way, we will do it her way.

That night, I got ready for bed. Usually, before going to bed, I do try to smell nice and that draws Gabriel to me quickly as possible so on this particular night, I didn’t, wanting him to come on his own if he is interested in me. He didn’t and when I thought he wouldn’t, I felt his presence in the dream with his usual kisses but this time, I didn’t feel aroused or excited but was disgusted because it became glaring to me that this is just a fantasy. He noticed I wasn’t my usual self and asked what was wrong and I replied that I am no longer interested in this relationship. A relationship where I can’t show him off to my friends, where I can’t call him on the phone, he can’t be around to help me with some physical chores, I need a man that will be there for me at all times and, of course, pay the bills but all these while, for 2years it has just been I and him and no one else, hasn’t ever supported me financially not even buying me my favorite ice cream as he doesn’t know.

After pouring my pent up anger at him, he calmly told me I was the one that invited him when I had just left a broken relationship and he knew a time will come when I will feel restless and he has been patient with me to be strong, build my confidence again to face the real world again and even advised me to know my self-worth when dealing with men.

I was shocked and more shocked when he said I alone has the power to send him away and I have done that and though he is sad but he has to go and that all along he was just a figment of my imagination of how I want a perfect boyfriend to be but now I can see that though he is perfect for me physically but he isn’t perfect in other areas as I have come to realise.

After saying all those, he just gradually left my presence and I saw myself waking up due to the ringing of my alarm clock. Waking up, I felt relieved and fully confident to brace myself for another relationship. My mum called me later in the day to know how it went and I told her it was over as we have ended the relationship and the next thing she said was that wasn’t enough and I need to come for deliverance. Like seriously? Put all things on hold and just board a flight to come home just for deliverance?

I sure didn’t go, weeks turned into months and I didn’t see or feel my dream lover, and I was eager to mingle once again and after taking my time to understand Samuel who has been on my case for 6 months even before I broke up with Gabriel, decided to give him a chance and so far I can say have missed a lot of just having someone to cuddle me anytime of the day, call me to talk long hours on the phone, help me in some minimal house chores like fixing my light bulb, walking my dog if am not around.

But I really appreciate Gabriel for the time we spent together and I wish him the best wherever he is.

Her Personal Thoughts…

Experiencing one of the saddest days in my life, led me driving around the busy city. Driving in circles just because I had a lot on my mind. Reminiscing from my teenage years through adolescent and as a young adult in the university up to this stage in my life as a successful architect, I tried finding the calming spirit that will tell me I have tried, rather something kept eating me deep down like I still have a lot to do.

What could be giving me this feeling of incompleteness? Why do I feel like I have not arrived when most women would kill to be in my position, career-wise. A partner in a successful architectural firm at a young age of 35, successful networker at her free time because I do not believe in having only one source of income.

Trying to remember the previous day’s activities as I swerve to take a bend that will lead me to the grocery shop, it finally dawned on me why I was feeling this way on a beautiful Sunday morning when I should have been in church thanking God for the grace to be alive.

I remembered vividly meeting Aunty Tosin, my mum’s younger sister at my little cousin’s wedding. She was asking me when I was gonna bring my ‘man’ home as it is taking me a long time to bring him. Growing up, I was one of those girls whose folks frowns at guys visiting her so it got stuck on me as I never for once brought a guy to my home no matter how much I value the friendship.

Now hearing that from her got me all worked up and I didn’t know why because statements like this normally don’t bug me as I always have a ready-made answer for such a question but on this particular day, it seems the cat got my tongue so tight. I remember telling her very soon but I could still recollect the smirk on her face like she didn’t believe that answer but really I couldn’t care less because at that point I was now itching to go home. I practically ran out and even forgot to wish the couple a happy married life and also say my farewells to my folks.

My night was short because my Aunt’s statement lingered at the uppermost part of my mind but I felt when I wake up, I would have gotten over it but here I was driving around town and with this mad traffic caused by different churches holding their services at the same time.

Deciding to play some gospel track was the best decision because it took me to a place of contentment, felt at peace knowing that all will be fine with me, I should keep trusting God for Rome wasn’t built in a day, I am his masterpiece, the apple of His eyes, He knows my end from my beginning because before I was formed, He already knew me and called me by my name. Didn’t know when the tears started rolling down my cheeks but I know been single isn’t a curse neither a disease, I will embrace my singlehood till God send me my Boaz who will complete me and shut the mouth of my destiny monitors.

The road became clear and instead of aimlessly driving around town, I decided to drive home and just enjoy the rest of the day.


Peace Out!!!!

Photo Credit: Google