Experiencing one of the saddest days in my life, led me driving around the busy city. Driving in circles just because I had a lot on my mind. Reminiscing from my teenage years through adolescent and as a young adult in the university up to this stage in my life as a successful architect, I tried finding the calming spirit that will tell me I have tried, rather something kept eating me deep down like I still have a lot to do.
What could be giving me this feeling of incompleteness? Why do I feel like I have not arrived when most women would kill to be in my position, career-wise. A partner in a successful architectural firm at a young age of 35, successful networker at her free time because I do not believe in having only one source of income.
Trying to remember the previous day’s activities as I swerve to take a bend that will lead me to the grocery shop, it finally dawned on me why I was feeling this way on a beautiful Sunday morning when I should have been in church thanking God for the grace to be alive.
I remembered vividly meeting Aunty Tosin, my mum’s younger sister at my little cousin’s wedding. She was asking me when I was gonna bring my ‘man’ home as it is taking me a long time to bring him. Growing up, I was one of those girls whose folks frowns at guys visiting her so it got stuck on me as I never for once brought a guy to my home no matter how much I value the friendship.
Now hearing that from her got me all worked up and I didn’t know why because statements like this normally don’t bug me as I always have a ready-made answer for such a question but on this particular day, it seems the cat got my tongue so tight. I remember telling her very soon but I could still recollect the smirk on her face like she didn’t believe that answer but really I couldn’t care less because at that point I was now itching to go home. I practically ran out and even forgot to wish the couple a happy married life and also say my farewells to my folks.
My night was short because my Aunt’s statement lingered at the uppermost part of my mind but I felt when I wake up, I would have gotten over it but here I was driving around town and with this mad traffic caused by different churches holding their services at the same time.
Deciding to play some gospel track was the best decision because it took me to a place of contentment, felt at peace knowing that all will be fine with me, I should keep trusting God for Rome wasn’t built in a day, I am his masterpiece, the apple of His eyes, He knows my end from my beginning because before I was formed, He already knew me and called me by my name. Didn’t know when the tears started rolling down my cheeks but I know been single isn’t a curse neither a disease, I will embrace my singlehood till God send me my Boaz who will complete me and shut the mouth of my destiny monitors.
The road became clear and instead of aimlessly driving around town, I decided to drive home and just enjoy the rest of the day.
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